Next Life

In my next life I want to live my life backwards. You 
start out dead and get that out of the way. Then you 
wake up in an old people's home feeling better every 
day. You get kicked out for being too healthy, go 
collect your pension, and then when you start work, 
you get a gold watch and a party on your first day. 
You work for 40 years until you're young enough to 
enjoy your retirement. You party, drink alcohol, and 
are generally promiscuous, then you are ready for high 
school. You then go to primary school, you become a 
kid, you play. You have no responsibilities, you 
become a baby until you are born. And then you spend 
your last 9 months floating in luxurious spa like 
conditions with central heating and room service on 
tap, larger quarters every day and then Voila! You 
finish off as an orgasm! I rest.

Woody Allen